at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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