just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize