I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
