White coat. Heels.
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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