I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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