Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
do herpes really smell.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
