you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize