How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
