everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
