God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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