why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
