was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
