You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
