Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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