so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
