Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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