I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
