Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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