I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I need to calm my uterus...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
