I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
