Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
