Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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