I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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