If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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