They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
