i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize