Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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