hotel room ftw
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
