am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
