Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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