Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
