i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
