I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Randomize
