You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize