a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
