i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
