The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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