so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
