that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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