Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
