To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
