I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
