Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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