So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Randomize
