Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
ttyl tear gas
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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