Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
