yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
