brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
