That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
