my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
