This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
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she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
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I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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