went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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