yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You pole danced in your parka.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
