A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
