She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
