even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
