chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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