What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
