is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Randomize
