Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
