Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
