Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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