So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
love makes seman taste better
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Your cock deserves a montage
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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