Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
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