glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think my fart just growled at me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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