Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
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