I want to have your abortion
Your dad touched me again.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
