ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
