I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
